It’s “Word” time for all my ladies!
I’ve been slow with the dating tips, but I’m BACK loves!
(My relationship tips or suggestions stem from experiences had by friends of mine, family, books, and my own. So I’m never just pulling out of thin air-OK!)
Hello, to all of the newcomers of 30! I like to call it The Year of Thirty. This is the time when a lot of women feel like they should be married already or at least engaged. You are wrong! If you walked into your thirties single I would like to commend you! Your 20s should have been used to get you to understand what you like/dislike and what you want and don’t want from a partner.
Now it’s REPPIN’ Time! Lol.
9 TIPS FOR DATING IN YOUR 30s
#1: Set a standard in your mind and ABIDE by it. The biggest challenges we faced in our 20s during dating, was accepting whatever your partner brought to you and thinking that you can set the standard later. START with your standards and DO NOT WAVER.
Do NOT become the woman with ridiculous standards either! (Remember Meagan Good in this “Jumping the Broom” scene? – Don’t let that be you!)
#2: Leave your PAST behind you. At this age, you may realize that you used to spill your beans about how much heartache you went through to a new “candidate” way too quickly. After a second date with someone you’re already revealing to him how trifling your last boyfriend was and how it hurt you and blah, blah, blah. HUSH girl! Lol. Keep it cute! Your past helped mold you into the beautiful person that you are today, but there is no need to relive those horrid moments. Let. It. Go.
#3: Don’t waste your time. Let’s say you’re on a date and after thirty minutes into it you realize that this guy is NOT right for you. Don’t waste your time. Be classy and finish the date, but block his number or his profile. Don’t feel obligated to continue talking to someone that you knew you didn’t have any interest in after Date One. Move on. This also goes for the women stuck in “situationships” and are trying to figure out ways to mold him to act how you want him to act. You can’t change a man. Get OUT.
#4: Know Yourself. Love Yourself. Own Who You Are. During the Year of Thirty you begin to realize that you are who you are and you own it! This comfort allows you to be yourself when dating instead of frontin’ like you’re someone else. A lot of times women in their 20s listen to their boyfriends or to guys that they’re dating and will become a jumbled mess of what THAT man wants them to be. Just be you. Not who you think he wants to date.
#5: Trust your instincts aka your “gut.” Got a bad feeling about this one? Gut turning in knots about something he just told you? Chances are your gut is right and he is wrong! No one wants to keep learning lessons the hard way so learn to go with your intuition! Don’t spend a lot of time trying to make a situation work that your GUT is telling you won’t work anyway.
#6: Don’t fall into the “Forever a Side chick” Role. This one is VERY IMPORTANT!!! Especially in 2017! I want women to understand that you do NOT have to accept a role as any man’s side chick. Now if you are genuinely not interested in a full time partner and you’re okay with sharing a man or you have convinced yourself that it is better to be cheated with and not cheated on–this isn’t for you. (but chances are, you’re false flagging and lying to yourself) This is for the ladies that fall into these roles because of low self-esteem, desperation, or no standards. Stop playing the side chick role when you KNOW you want a man to yourself and who is ALL about you. Who told you that it was WRONG to want that? Quit allowing desperation and loneliness to determine your actions. (Stick to those standards, boo.)
#7: LISTEN–LISTEN–LISTEN. The biggest secret that any man has is that he lets the woman do all the talking. She spills her guts about her wants, dislikes, likes, and everything else before she’s found out ANYTHING about him. Let that man earn your trust before you start sharing with him. LET HIS ASS DO ALL THE TALKING! (I learned this the hard way by dating a man in his 40s that had been married twice and claimed to be separated from his second wife. He would “listen” to me for hours because he wanted to know who I was and what I was about. A year into our story and I felt no closer to him. You know why? Although he had “moments” that he shared things with me, they were SMALL things. He knew how to make it seem like he was giving a lot without really giving anything. This guy is the ultimate player. He has dated PLENTY of women and learned exactly what to do. )
#8: Get away from your TYPE!! I swear I have heard SO many of my single girl friends shout out, but what if he’s not my type? These are some times the SAME girl friends that haven’t been on a date since our teen years. Catch my drift! Chances are your “type” is wack! Period. You date the bad-boy with babymommas type or the the Ultra Alpha Male type. Switch it up! Clearly that type has gotten you nowhere fast. It is time to try new things-girl!
#9: Realize that you will never find perfection. STOP IT! It’s not going to happen. No one is going to be absolutely perfect so I suggest you figure out what undesirable traits you’re able to stomach and carry on.
I hope that these tips have helped you ladies out some! I wanted to keep going but I have to save a little something for my girl talk this weekend with my ladies!